Tuesday, 28 October 2008

  • Ahhhhhhhhhhh, I will not be moved.

    I feel my heart ache with a pain that i am sure will stay with me for a while and my character tested and tried on all levels. I see my friends hurting and others i thought strong letting down their guard when their hearts need it the most. I see the ones i turned to for comfort weary and worn from this journey. I see another failed friendship, another chance at filling these holes in my heart dashed and I leave still yearning, still hungry.

    I don't see a shadow of light in the sky, only the dark night. But I fix my eyes on the sky non the less, because I know the dawn is coming....

    And do not be mistaken, Though I have fallen, I will rise

    Do not gloat over me, my enemy! 

    and though all i know and much i have hoped for is shaken

    i will stand.

    i will not be moved.

Friday, 02 May 2008

  • So you could say I took a reprise from xanga and life came at me like a steam engine and now it is beginning to look more like living, :)

    Finals are around the corner and I am ready, mostly for them. My heart is ready, my head is not-which has not been the case for a long time.

    Starbucks is going well, a new store is opening up and the manager wants to come with her, as a shift if I want

    All signs point to me stepping up as an RA for 2008-09 year,

    The real decision is where i shall lay my head for summer:

    If I go with World Venture to Africa it looks cheeper to stay in TX after Tamar's wedding. If I don't, I want to return to  NY~ I think.

    If you have a spare couch in either state, you could swing the vote

    So thats my life peaceful, restful, and looking upward.

     

Saturday, 15 March 2008

  •  

     

    Anyone going to Tyler from the Houston area?

     

    Otherwise I think I might have to hang down here for spring break and plan another trip for up there.

    :(

    all of you praying people, talk to the man for me.

Thursday, 14 February 2008

  • Hmmm...

    It has been a while. I am not sure who reads this anyway, but it has always been a good way to get things out of my head into the open air, so here goes:

    Why do Protestants, Catholics and Orthodox Christians look at the bible the way we do? Why do we consider letters written by men to specific churches to be eternals truths we can throw like a blanket over our lives in a completely different time with different problems? Why is the only way most Christians including myself know God is through this book and if it was shown to any measure of error would our whole faith crumble?

    Do we know Him, I mean really know Him? Do you know what He likes, His emotions, His favorites, the look in His eye when He's happy and the despair in His heart when its breaking. Do you ever ask Him how His day was? Is our Christianity so full of rituals, formulas, and magic words to invoke His presence, His power, and His will there's no room for relationship? Why does it say eternal life is to KNOW THE FATHER. not obey Him or become Him. To know Him, be known by Him.

    Can you know Christ outside that book, outside what people say about Him? If all that was stripped away, and it was just you looking up and Him looking down, what would happen? What if your whole life got wrapped around that relationship-really. What if all the things you are trying desperately to balence hit the ground and shattered, and you let everything go so you could grab onto to Him.

    We'll see....

Wednesday, 09 January 2008

  • Almost Over

    Few more days, and school will resume, life will pick back up and all my unscheduled time will evaporate. I am not ready for such. Honestly, planing ahead is not my strong point and now I feel very certain that I have wasted my time and do not want to waste any more. I'm not sure what I want to share with ya'll today.
    But an interesting side note- one of the blogs of the day was titled dying doggie vs starving kids. One person even wrote that we should stop trying to inter with mother nature, because this was a form of population control. I don't understand how we can look at life that way. I don't understand why Christians are so afraid. I don't understand why college kids are so short-sighted- including myself. I don't understand how someone can just rush through life without purpose or direction, looking for something that only can be found standing still. I don't understand why killing is a necessary means to a end. I don't understand why I'm here and not there.

Tunes